Self Intro-duction Letter
Dear Professor Blackstone,
I hope this letter finds you well. I am Luqman Hakim currently in my first year of mechanical engineering at the Singapore Institute of Technology. I was formerly from Temasek Polytechnic (TP) and graduated in 2021 with a diploma in mechatronics. I realized that I enjoyed designing and building my product during my final year project at TP, therefore the switch to mechanical engineering.
During my off days, I usually spend my time playing computer games. I like playing games alone but playing with others is always much more fun. That is why some of my favorite games require a team of 2-4 people to play. Sometimes I would play with friends/family but sometimes I have to play with strangers. Usually, these types of games are very stressful and require lots of communication which helps to improve my composure and communication skills. I am comfortable communicating and relaying important info to others.
However, my communication skills are not flawless. Although I am used to speaking in a classroom setting, I still do not feel confident when presenting in front of crowds. I have the occasional stammer and mispronunciation of words. However, just the thought of doing a speech in an auditorium makes me shiver. I hope I can overcome these problems with time and practice.
My main goal for this module is to refine my basic communication skills, especially email writing. If I truly understand this module, it will benefit me in my future endeavors. As I am sure in a working environment, there will be a lot of projects and meeting presentations. It also would not hurt to sharpen my language writing so I can write more precise technical reports in the future. I am eager to enroll in your class and cannot wait to learn more about communication and thinking. Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
Luqman
[Last Revised Sep 26]
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Decent effort. Content wise is good but could close off the email better by thanking the recipient or end with a call to action. Language wise, can be better. Whenever writing a formal email, it is best not to use shortforms. For example, "info" for information. Organisation wise, is good in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteGood effort put into the letter writing. I could suggest that you can elaborate the phrase, "therefore the switch into mechanical engineering" into a more professional term. Like, " therefore, I decided to pursue a degree or profession majoring in mechanical engineering".
ReplyDeleteI believe you did a great job and gave good use of PEEL in your second paragraph to illustrate your communication skills. Overall, it's a good letter on my point of view.
Dear Luqman,
ReplyDeleteThis is a well crafted, informative etter. I especially appreciate learning about your interest in gaming and how you realize that even those sorts of activities require comm skills. What games do you usually play?
You also do a good job breaking down your comm skills and connecting the most pressing needs to your goals.
Your language use is well done in this letter but there are some minor issues:
1. verb issues
-- Usually, these types of games are very stressful and require lots of communication which helped to improve my composure and communication skills. > (General statement of truth, or a one-time occurence? Ask me about this.) ?
2. overuse of caps
-- ...to learn more about Communication and Thinking. > ?
-- Yours Sincerely, > ?
I look forward to hearing more form you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Thank you professor for the feedback. I have edited my mistakes accordingly and to answer your question about what games I usually play, it would first first-person shooters (FPS) like Call of Duty and role-playing games (RPG) such as Starfield. See you in class prof :) .
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